i just need Jesus

Today was a bit of a day... That is to say there was nothing particularly bad about it and there were many things that were good about it. Great even! But still I found myself frustrated by my need for more time in the day, by my weaknesses, by my need to vocalize things, by my need to be straight forward with people, by my need for music blaring in my ears to calm me down... and so on. Which left me sitting in the back room at work, with music blaring in my ears, wishing I didn't have to work so much to afford school and just feeling so overwhelmed. I starting thinking... I have handled much worse than this, much better & with a better attitude.

I thought back to NIKO (a survival camp I went through in CR in April) and thought about when I was going into this thing how stressed I was that I wouldn't be able to sleep without listening to my iPod (having listened to music every night to fall asleep away from home). Thinking back on that unnecessary stress I put myself through, it almost seems comical. I slept perfectly fine the entire time. I was stressing myself out with all of these "needs" I thought I had. And it hit me, how is today any different? I sat there becoming less and less frustrated as I realized (again)... all I need is Jesus. It may sound corny. But I don't care how it may sound, its the truth. I am confident that I am where I am supposed to be, and that God cares deeply about me and will not give me somthing that (with Him) I cannot handle. I do know however (and you may not agree with me on this one) God will give me difficult times if that is what it takes for my stubborn self to realize I cannot live this life alone (without God).

The point of me sharing all of this is, I have been a Christian since I was 14 and today again I realized I just need Jesus. And there is nothing wrong with that, the revelation that comes from understanding more and more about God should never stop, you are never finished learning and growing in faith, this side of heaven. I hope I never become so hard headed to think I can get by doing the simplest things without Him. And if I need to become a little bit frustrated before I realize I need Jesus then I hope to have a wonderfully frustrating life.


Much Love,
-Julie